Hope and Recovery

When did you not notice she died?

When did you not notice she was the victim of emotional abuse?

When did you not notice she was scared?

When did you not notice she was trying to support her family?

When did you not notice her entire existence was to protect her children?

When did you not notice he had been bullied?

When did you not notice she had been bullied?

When did you not notice that you supported violence against women by justifying behavior that blames women?


When did you not notice she would never tell?

When did you not notice you could be her?

When did you not notice the fear in her face?

When did you not notice it was more important to protect her family?

When did you not notice he is codependent?

When did you not notice she is codependent?

When did you just not notice?


I noticed

I trusted

I believed

I am heartbroken for her

I faced it

I cried for her

I died for her


She got up

She focused

She accepted there were only difficult choices

She considered her responsibilities as a mother

Why not reach out and ask for help?

Why not get out?

I acknowledged that for some, there are only feelings of fear, shame and survival

An attempt to be true to self


She found refuge in nature

She discovered purpose by reaching out to others

She helped herself

She elevated herself

She survived

She did what she needed to do

She chose her path

She is okay


She made a difficult decision to keep her family together

She loves unconditionally

She is realistic and has learned to disengage

She accepts what is for now

She accepts what will never be

She lives one day at a time


I have been married for 46 years and have 2 grown adult children.  During the pandemic,  I observe multiple cars parked in driveways and many delivery trucks.  Many are working from home while their children are learning on zoom.  Having co-founded a Domestic Shelter for Women and children upon graduating from UCLA in 1972,  I often wonder what goes on behind closed doors.